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Yeah, I'd like to also share and thank you.
Last year when I left here this retreat, I noticed when I got back to the daily life, I had a lot, lot—substantially less anger. Substantially less. I used to be much more angry, and after this retreat then, the anger was just much smaller. And then also there was constantly— Do you know why?
I think during the retreat I realized how— Yeah, realized why. Why the ang—how much I'm hurting myself and others with the anger. Right, yes. Okay. So that was one of the big issues last year. Yes. And
then
I was able to keep on certain amount of practice in my daily life. Continue work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was because there was interest. That was the key, as you said. Right, yeah. Then last summer there was very interesting experience. I went to the Arctic tundra, a wilderness kind of thing, for 5 weeks.
I was alone in the nature, but in the quite challenging— Oh, okay, okay. —challenging place. And there I came to
contact with very deep fear. Fear of— Yes. I would say fear of death, it must be. And first I was interested in it, and I was able to observe it, kind of, and stay with it. That was the very important thing for me, to be able to not to run away from it, but to stay with it.
Yes, right. And I must tell you one place where in fact this fear was very big. I was in a river, crossing a river, and it was very cold, very cold, maybe a couple of degrees only, and then it got deeper and deeper, and steeper and steeper, and the
water just was
very strong. And then fear came. Fear came in so strong fear that I just paralyzed. I couldn't move. I was just totally stuck. And then there came these ideas that, "How will I die here? I either fall or I hit myself on the rocks or something." And then your teaching came back to my mind.
Teaching that if there is fear that is too big for you, change the object.
So what I started to—on that moment when I was totally paralyzed, and in fact this fear was not— That's right, because of too overwhelming, the whole mind becomes fear. Yeah, yeah. So I started whistling, and then my mind just focused on the whistle, and then the mind just relaxed, and then I was able to cross the stream and—
Thanks to all of you. Yeah, thank you very much. Thanks, U Tejaniya. Yes. Thanks for you, because it was in fact the situation was kind of dangerous. Yeah, yeah, this thinking coming is very important. Yeah, yeah. Thinking is very important. Thinking is changing direction, the whole mind. One I saw in the
Crown Mountain, one yogi, he has a lot of bad memory. Every retreat he go to, retreat, 2, 3 days, the mind calm down, then all bad memory come. So he cannot handle. Other meditation, you know, watch the mind, watch the body, but the mind is increasing. So he never overcome his the bad memory emotion.
When I retreat there, he come 4 day. After 4 day, the memory come back. Then he want to talk about this memory in the interview, but interview have many yogi. So he cannot talk about story. After interview, he left, then he regressed herself, himself. He complained himself, "Why you not talk to the teacher?
If you talk, you need to talk himself." He not very happy. But one thought is coming, "If you talk to the teacher, what teacher reply?" He know already how teacher reply. That stock is change the direction that the train has. So before behind that mind is changing.
He thinking about practice. If you talk like this, I said everything you must accept nature and how to watch the feeling, everything come back. That all information come back, then he realize, then he try to aware with his feeling, emotion. Morning to the it is interview is after lunch I think. But evening he continue watching his feeling, feeling continuously.
And evening he realize something about feeling, just feeling. Feeling is not personal. After this, next day, her mind is 5 phase very bright. No, not very long, long phase. It's very no problem. Every day I ask him, "Today weather, how is it?" "Very fine. Very nice."
But every retreat he cannot overcome his emotion. So thought is very important to change direction.
You need to know about what you are thinking. If you thinking right or wrong, then you can change direction, then the whole mind change. Because of like a trainhead. Trainhead if you make the road it gets jung jung strong. The train go there. You cannot do this for go that end, finish.
Right.
Interesting, yeah. Real situation, real if you practice very hard, sometime you very in, in, in how to say, very interesting to practice. If you have a difficult situation that time, naturally the mind, the meditation, this reminding come back itself. Yeah, yeah. It was your voice in fact in this case that came back to my mind.
Wow. Change the object if you cannot handle it, then just do. That's it. Thank you very much.
Sayadaw U Tejaniya began his Buddhist training as a young teenager in Burma under the late Shwe Oo Min Sayadaw (1913–2002). After a career in business and life as a householder, he has become a permanent monk since 1996.…