About this talk
Transcript
Click a timestamp to listen from there. Machine translation, which may be inaccurate. You can suggest a fix for each sentence. The transcript is companion text; the audio itself is untouched.
Okay, let's open the Dhamma talk by paying respect to the Buddha
and reciting Namo Tassa.
Namo
Tassa
Bhagavato
Arahanto
Sammā
Sambuddhassa.
Namo
Tassa Bhagavato
Arahanto
Sammā Sambuddhassa.
Namo
Tassa Bhagavato
Arahanto
Sammā Sambuddhassa.
It makes me very happy to recite that.
I can tell you the story, but it'll take a long time. Why I feel so happy when I recite this?
Because I will tell you
it as short as possible. When I was young, I didn't believe in anything or anybody.
But then, after learning Dhamma and understanding who the Buddha was, I developed respect for the Buddha, and spontaneously I recited this. Because I've heard this many times in many other places, and even in a movie.
You know, they recited this in a movie. Can you tell which movie that is?
Well, the one that I remember is Angulimala.
In that movie, a group of monks recited that. So when I developed respect for the Buddha and trust for the Buddha, spontaneously I recited this. Namo Tassa. I didn't know I was reciting at that time, but I was so happy.
Then I remember, oh, I'm reciting Namo Tassa.
So if you really understand who the Buddha was and what his teaching means, and only you will understand it only if you practice it. There's no other way you can understand it. You cannot understand it just by reading books.
So to
start the talk,
I hope some of you
who are here are the first time when I came here to give a Dhamma talk.
That was about 2 years ago.
And at that time I gave a talk based on the first verse of Mangala Sutta.
Asevanācā Bhāraṇam. Not to associate with fools. It was very difficult to translate. But this time I'm going to
talk about
another verse from Mangala Sutta. And this Mangala Sutta is a very big sutta.
Once I gave a series of talks on Mangala Sutta, and it took me more than 30 days, believe it or not. Because if you go deeper and deeper, the meaning becomes,
uh, comes out from the words more and more. So the meaning is not just in the word. The real meaning of the teaching of the Buddha is in your life. So if you really want to understand the meaning of what the Buddha taught, you must look in your life.
It is only there you will find. Not in the book.
So this time
I will talk about another verse.
In Pali it is, "Phuttasa loka dammehi cittham yassa nakampati."
Some people, I think, know this verse. Yes?
Hmm.
Phuttasa means to come in contact. The Pali word phutta means to come in contact. To experience. So when we experience something, it means that that experience comes in contact with our mind. When you see something, the object that you see comes in contact with your mind.
Only when something comes in contact with our mind, we experience it. So phuttasa means to come in contact. To experience. Loka dammehi means, uh, the eight vicissitudes of life.
There are eight. Anybody know these eight vicissitudes of life? Yes.
Labho alabho. Getting what you want and not getting what you want.
Yaso ayaso. I've been told that in Thai language the meaning is slightly different. Yaso here means to have many people around you who love you and who support you. To have many friends and relatives who love you and support you. Ayaso means there's nobody around you who loves you and supports you. You are lonely.
You are abandoned. You are rejected.
So these are two extremes, actually. I think at least somebody loves you.
But anyway, there are some people I know who never felt loved, even by their parents. I have met some people like that in America.
And nengda asanta. That's another
two of the vicissitudes of life. Nengda means being blamed. People say bad things about you. Asanta means being praised. People say nice things about you.
And sukham dukkham.
Happiness and unhappiness.
So these are eight vicissitudes of life. And sukha has many other meanings too. Having a pleasant place to live. Also, having good experiences. Also. So words have many overlapping meanings. In these eight, from these eight vicissitudes of life, today I will talk about only two.
Because to talk about all eight, it's too big. Not enough time. I will talk about nengda and asanta. Being blamed and being praised. That's why the title of this talk is "Praise and Blame."
So let's think, let's think about it.
To get what you want and not to get what you want. Can you say that everybody never gets anything they want? Can you say that? No.
You get something. Not all. Not all. But you get what you want. Some of what you want.
So you cannot say that this is true for everybody. This is true for some people. Some people are rich even before they are born.
Children of rich parents, even before they are born, they are already rich. Some people are poor. Yes. Even before they are born, their parents are poor. But at least they get something
they want.
And
having nobody around you who loves you and supports you.
Is this true for everybody? There are some people who are abandoned, who are rejected, who are thrown away. People don't love them. You can say at least some. There are some. But it is, this is not true for everybody.
And there are people
who have a lot of relatives.
Many uncles, many cousins.
Of course you have only one father and one mother. Not more than that. But you have many uncles, many aunties, many brothers, many sisters, many cousins, many friends. So you have a lot of people around you.
So at least this is true for somebody. Some people.
And
happiness and unhappiness also. You cannot say that everybody is unhappy.
Some people are happy. Yes.
Some people are unhappy.
And praise and blame. Can you say that everybody is being praised or everybody is being blamed? Which one is true for everybody?
Everybody is being blamed. That is true for everybody. Can you agree with that?
Have you been blamed for something? Almost every day?
So Buddha said, "Nati loke a nendito." Loke means in this world. In this human world. A nendito means somebody who is not being blamed. Nati means there is nobody like that.
There's nobody in this world who is not being blamed for something.
That includes Buddha also. Nobody can escape this.
So
nati loke a nendito. In this world, there is nobody who is not being blamed for something. Almost every day.
So I will tell you some of my experiences with it. Because I have very, um, painful experience. Therefore I gave a talk on this topic. When I was young, almost everybody loved me. Almost. I hope you believe it.
But as I grew older and older,
as I learned to read more and think for myself and speak my own mind and will not take orders if I don't like to take orders, even my parents started blaming me.
And when I was in my teens, I started thinking about religion. And reading a lot about religion. And if you really read a lot, you develop a lot of doubts. Naturally. So many contradicting ideas. You read from so many different philosophies, so many different religions.
So I cannot believe in any religion anymore.
And I spoke my mind. That was my problem. When I believe something, I talk about it. When I don't believe something, I talk about it. I can't keep my mouth shut. It's very difficult for me to do that. So when I started talking about my doubts, my parents got upset. My teachers got upset. My friends won't talk with me anymore. And my friends' parents told my friends not to associate with me because I was a bad boy who won't believe in any religion.
I did not believe in any religion because I took religion very seriously. I take religion very seriously. If you take something really seriously, you really think about it. And when you really think about it, naturally you develop doubts.
But I'm a very religious person. I know that. I can prove it. I have been fighting with religion all my life. That's the proof. Because if I don't care about religion, I won't even think about it.
So for me, religion is something very important. It affects your whole life. Not only this life. It affects your life now and the next life and the next life. So you have to really think about it. So when I talk about my doubts about religion, people call me all kinds of bad names.
If you believe in any religion, no matter what, people say you are good. If you don't believe in any religion, no matter how self-disciplined you are, they will not trust you anymore. Because you are not afraid of anybody anymore.
When people believe in a religion, they are afraid of this or that. They are afraid of God. They are afraid of hell. They are afraid of, um, many bad consequences. But when you don't believe in any religion,
there's nothing you need to be afraid of. And people think that you will do all kinds of horrible things because you are not afraid of anything anymore. So people like you to be afraid of somebody or something. If you are not afraid of somebody, if you are not afraid of something, they will think you are horrible.
You are terrible.
So even my parents won't talk with me anymore.
And I became very lonely. I had only a few friends left. Even my teachers won't talk with me anymore.
So I started questioning everything.
And because I question too much and my parents cannot answer my questions, my teachers cannot answer my questions, it's easier to ask questions but very difficult to answer. Truthfully, actually. So they don't like me anymore. People like you if you believe what they say.
Naturally. But if you question them, at first they will say, "It's okay. It's your right to question." But if you keep questioning, they will take you as a nuisance.
So at home, I won't talk with anybody anymore. There's nothing to talk about.
But although I have a lot of doubts about religion, I like reading about religion. I get all kinds of books I can find about religion and read it. I still read all kinds of religion. Not only Buddhism. Dhamma. All religion. Why do people believe in religion? Why can't they stop believing in all religion?
That is the question. Because deep inside us, we yearn for something bigger and higher, noble. Something noble. And deep inside, inside us, we yearn to be free. We want to be pure. We want to be happy. We want to be a good person. So when people accuse me of many things, I just went away in a quiet place and I asked myself, "Am I really a bad person?"
You know the answer? No.
I'm not a bad person. I can never believe that. I never had a doubt that I am a good person. Because what do I want? I want to be happy.
Can you agree with that? Everybody agree with me. Yes. I want to be happy. And how do you want to live to be a happy person?
To be a happy person, you need a lot of friends. You need people who love you and trust you. You can't live alone and be happy. So when you want people to love you and trust you, you must be a good person. You must behave well. You must have discipline. You must not do evil. You must do what is good.
So I want to be a good person because I want people to love me and respect me. I want to be happy. I want to see myself as a good person. I want to love myself too. I love myself. Always.
So I know that deep inside me, I have religion. But I cannot give it a name. I cannot give what religion that is. Because deep inside me, I want happiness. I want freedom. I want real purity. I want nobility. I want to be a good person. The best person that I can be.
So religion, for me, is to develop the best potentials in me. I can see that I have bad potentials. Like everybody else. I can see that I have good potentials. I want to develop all those good potentials. Good qualities in me.
So that when I think about myself, I can be really happy.
And people demand me to believe all kinds of ideas. But I cannot. Naturally, I don't know why. I don't know how. I like to think for myself. I want freedom to think. And people don't give me freedom to think. You are not free even to think.
So I love freedom very much. All kinds of freedom. Not just one. One kind or two kinds. Not just political freedom. All kinds of freedom. Then I noticed that
when you have negative states of mind, your mind is not free. When you are hateful, you are not free. But when you are loving, you feel more freedom. When you are stingy, jealous, you are not free. But when you are generous, when you share, you feel more freedom. When you are forgiving, ah, you really feel free.
So I love freedom. I can feel it. I'm a very sensitive person, actually. I can feel what I feel. I can see what I feel. So because I love happiness and freedom, I love nobility, I want to develop my good qualities, I'm religious.
One day,
I went to a bookstore. Not only once. I go to bookstores all the time. Even here in Bangkok.
Because I love books. I love ideas. Good ideas. So in a bookstore, I found a very small book. Only a few pages. Maybe about 20 or 30 pages.
And bought it. It didn't cost me much, actually. It was quite cheap. And it's about Kālāma Sutta.
You know that sutta? Oh. So many people here know this sutta. What did Buddha say in Kālāma Sutta?
What does Buddha say?
Ah, don't believe. There are 10 points not to believe.
The first point is mā anussu ena.
Don't believe something because you have heard it repeatedly. You have heard it many, many times. Ask yourself, "Why do I believe something?" If one person tells you something, you say, "Oh, it may be true." Two persons told me the same thing. Three. Ten. One hundred. One thousand. You start believing it.
So when you hear something repeatedly, you believe it. That's what they do in, in, um, what do you say?
Advertisements. They repeat the same thing again and again until you believe it.
Mā paramparāya. Don't believe something because it's a tradition. Parampara means para, para. Generation to generation. Don't believe something because it's a tradition. Ask yourself, "Why do I believe something?" Mostly the answer is, "It's a tradition." There's a song. Tradition.
Anybody knows that song?
There's a song, very famous song. Tradition. Your parents believe it. Your grandparents believe it. Your teachers believe it. You believe it.
You, you never really try to find out whether something is true or not. You just believe it. Because it's a tradition. To go against tradition, it's very difficult. There's a lot of pressure. Tradition has a lot of pressure. Mā iti kiraya means second hand.
Everything second hand. So-and-so said that. So-and-so saw that. So second hand reports. People believe that.
Mā teka hetu māneya hetu. It sounds logical. It agrees with the system. Philosophical system. People believe that.
Mā bhava rupadaya. When somebody is learning, a person is very famous. He has got big degrees. And he's a teacher of famous people, powerful people. And you think that, "Well, since so many people believe in him, what he said must be true."
He is seemingly able. You start believing it. Mā piṭika dhamma dhātenā. Don't believe something because it's in the book. It agrees with the book. People try to prove something. They'll say, "On such and such a book, on such and such a page, number it is said."
So Buddha said, "Don't believe something because it's in the book. Because it agrees with the book." Mā samanno no gurutī. Buddha said that. Don't believe something thinking that the monk is our teacher. Therefore, we believe what he said. So do you believe what I said? Yes.
Good. Very good.
Very good. Don't believe something just because the monk is our teacher and he said something.
So since so many people are putting so much pressure on me to believe, and Buddha said, "Don't believe," I thought, "Ah, now I have somebody who will support me.
Now I have an authority." I said, "Look, here. Buddha said, 'Don't believe.'
I have a right not to believe." Buddha said that. I have a right to question. I have a right to find out for myself. Decide for myself. And I loved that sutta so much that from that day, I trust and love Buddha. This is the only person I can trust and love who told me not to believe even what he said.
So you see how easy it is to get somebody to believe you? Just tell them, "Don't believe me."
Then they'll start believing you.
Then I started reading more and more Dhamma books. And I take what I like. I never take the whole thing.
I pick and choose. This is my habit.
So I take a few advice. Like,
"Pay attention. Never forget."
That is very important. I take that as a seed and put inside my heart.
Buddha said, "Satim ca kha hambhika we sabbatika modāmi." Mindfulness is needed everywhere. In every situation.
Ah, that is very important. So I take that advice into my heart. So for me, religion is something that I grows in my heart. I take the seed and advice and put in my heart and grow that in my heart. It grows and grows. It's still growing.
So for me, religion is alive. It always grows. And it becomes my religion.
Very personal. For me, religion is not something I can share with everybody. I can talk about it. But religion, for me, is very personal. It is my religion. And my religion is not the same as anybody else's religion. There may be some similarities, but never the same. It never will be the same.
Because I have grown that seed in my heart. In my life. Therefore, it is mine. I'm not using the word mine as something possessive. I mean, it is something very special for me. It suits me. It grows in me. Or I grow in my religion.
I live with it. It's all my life. The whole life. My whole life is my religion.
So,
uh, once somebody asked Mahatma Gandhi, "Gandhiji, what's your message?" You know what he said? His answer? "My life is my message."
And I can say that. "What is your religion?" "My life is my religion." It's all my life. Not part of my life. Religion is not something I practice part of the time. It's full time. I live with it every moment of my life.
When people criticize you, judge you, and say bad things about you, what do you usually do?
Well, I'll tell you what I usually do. I said bad things about them back.
I can
choose very big words that will hurt them. I am very good at that.
So what happens? People judge you, criticize you, and say bad things about you. You judge them, you criticize them, and you say bad things about them. Even better than
they do. What happens?
People hate you.
You develop more enemies.
So one day I thought, "Well, they tell me bad things, and I tell them bad things." Back. I'm the same as they are.
No difference. Then one day I read in a book,
"You cannot get ahead by getting even." That was really profound. That is really profound. You cannot get ahead by getting even. And I thought, "What am I doing? I'm getting even."
But I don't want to be like them.
I want to improve myself. Develop my good qualities. I want to become a better person. A happier person. More friendly. More generous. Freedom. I want freedom. But here, there are so many people who are criticizing me and judging me and blaming me.
Accuse me of things that I have never done. And I get so angry that I say the same thing. I do the same thing again. So when I read that, I thought, "I must stop doing the way they do." I stopped that. I said, "If they tell me bad things about me, or if they go around and talk about bad things about me, I will never do the same."
That was a big step.
Then I said,
"Can I just keep my mouth shut and say nothing?" And I said, "Well, I'll explain that that's not me. I never did that. I'm not a bad person."
So I started explaining.
But there are too many people. Not enough time to go around and explain to everybody. And I got very tired too. Sometimes, no matter how much you explain, people won't believe you.
Then one day I read another book. So you see, I read so many books that I get, here and there, very short and very good and powerful advice from here and there. So in another book, somebody said, "You don't have to explain yourself. Just do what you think is right and go ahead doing it.
You don't have to explain."
In the long run, people will find out who you are.
Then I thought, "Wow.
This is another letting go." The first letting go is, "Stop blaming other people." But I explain. Because I want people to understand me and accept me as a good person. But
it's very difficult to do.
Then I said, "The most important thing for me is to do what I honestly think and believe is right."
I don't have to explain.
So I stopped explaining. That gives me a lot of freedom. More freedom inside. I feel so free. I will not attack anybody. I will not blame anybody. I will not explain. But if they want to ask me, if they really want to know, I'll tell them. So I stopped doing that.
And from that day, my attitude toward life and people changed
a lot. I felt a lot of freedom to move on. I said, "Okay. I will leave you alone. I will just move on. I don't want to be stuck here like you, blaming each other."
And after that, I found another little book. In Burma, there are many, many Dhamma books. Just like in Thai.
That book is on Maingha Sutta.
So I read that book first in Burmese translation.
I like that very much, Maingha Sutta.
And I tried to find out the meaning of the word maingha. What does that word mean? What does the word maingha mean?
Most people translate that as blessings. But what does blessing mean?
You translate one word with another word. Just words.
Maingha has very deep meaning.
And, well, I will say it in Pali, but you don't have to translate all the Pali words.
It means edi karana. Edi means to fulfill. Karana means the cause. The cause to be fulfilled. If you live your life like this, you will be fulfilled. You will get all the good things as a human being in this life.
Bodhi karana means to grow. If you live your life according to this guidance, you will grow. In every way.
Especially in Dhamma, you will grow in Dhamma. Which is most important. Sabha sampati karana. Sampati also is the same as fulfilling. Sampati means, uh,
to have all aspects. I mean, to be healthy, to be happy, to have a lot of friends, to have knowledge, to have wisdom, and to attain enlightenment also. So all that is sampati.
So maingha means, if you live according to this teaching, you will grow, you will feel fulfilled.
So it's not something we just recite. It's something we live.
And in that Maingha Sutta, I came to this point. Puttasa loka damme hi when in coming in contact with the vicissitudes of life, cittaṃ yasa na kāmpati. His mind
does not
waver, disturb. His mind is not disturbed.
Wow. That is something really wonderful. I get disturbed so much. I get so angry. I'm actually, I'm a very angry person. Anger type person. There are many different personality types. Some people are greedy type. Some people are anger type. Some people are delusion type. Many other types too. But I fit in this anger type.
You hit me, I hit you.
No forgiving, no patience. But I've learned to forgive, and I've learned to be patient. I've learned it very hard way. It took a long, long, long time to learn that. But when I read that, Puttasa loka damme hi cittaṃ yasa na kāmpati. Kāmpati means tremble, to shake, to be disturbed, to be affected.
So
when coming in contact with the vicissitudes of life, his mind is not affected. His mind does not tremble. He is not disturbed.
Wow. That must be really powerful. That mind must be really powerful and strong. And I just want to be that kind of person. Just love to be that kind of person. I don't want to be shaken by the wind. When people say something, it's just the wind. The wind blowing towards you. Just the wind. And I'm shaken.
Just like a leaf. I don't want to be like a leaf. I want to be like a rocky mountain.
But it's not so easy. So I said, "Yeah, I really want to be that kind of person." Then I can love and respect myself even more if I don't get affected by these people's judgments. If I don't get affected by these people's criticism, accusations.
Then I can really respect myself. Then I will be really free. That's what I want. I want freedom.
How? You can't just say, "I will not be affected." And the next moment, somebody come and say something bad about you. You get so angry again. But how can I overcome this anger? It's easier said than done.
Then after a long time, I found this another sutta. Sati patthana sutta. Mindfulness.
That's the only way to overcome. To be mindful. To be aware. To pay attention.
In this Maha Sati Patthana Sutta, Buddha said, "Eka yeno bhikave maggo sattanam visudhya."
He was giving this Dhamma, uh, teaching at that time to monks. But he gave this same teaching to all people in many different places. But at this time, he was teaching the monks. So he said, "Monks,
to purify beings, there's one way. Only way.
Soka paridevanam samathi kamaya."
To overcome worries and anxieties and limitations, there's one way. Only way.
Nyayasa adi kamaya. To attain higher wisdom, there's one way. An only way. And nibbāna sachikriyaya. To attain nibbāna, the ultimate liberation,
there's one way. An only way. What is that?
Yadidam cattaro sati patthana. These four foundations of mindfulness. Although there are four, actually, in essence, it's only one. Mindfulness. Paying attention to body, paying attention to your feelings, paying attention to your thoughts, and paying attention to the qualities of everything.
Your mind and everything else.
So qualities here means Dhamma. So Dhammanupasana means paying attention to the qualities. Even this hardness and softness, these are qualities. If you pay attention to hardness and softness, you are practicing mindfulness of qualities.
The same thing, if you pay attention to a greed, you are paying attention to the quality of your mind. If you pay attention to mindfulness again, that is also paying attention to one quality of your mind.
So although there are four different,
uh, sati patthana, in essence, there's only one. Paying attention.
So when you are praised, somebody say nice things about you, how do you feel? You feel happy. Of course, naturally. I like that too.
People still praise me. A lot of people do. And still, a lot of people blame me for things that I've never done.
Even Buddha was blamed for something. Accused of terrible things. But he never did. So nobody can escape it. So pay attention to how you feel when people praise you. People praise you naturally. Nice people do.
And people will blame you.
And pay attention how you feel when people blame you, accuse you, judge you, criticize you, condemn you.
By paying attention, gradually you will overcome praise and blame. When you are praised, you are happy. What will you do? You will do something for which you'll be praised. You'll think of, "What shall I do
to get praised?"
And if you do things just because you want to be praised, there's no wisdom.
There's no freedom. Because people praise you, sometimes people praise you for doing bad things too.
Look around, you'll find that.
So don't do things just to get praised.
Do what you really think is right.
And when people blame you, pay attention how you feel. How do you feel? You feel unhappy. You get angry. Sometimes you feel sad. Sometimes you feel depressed.
Especially people who are very weak inside. You blame them. You accuse them. You judge them. They become very discouraged. They become depressed. Especially younger people. Don't judge them too harshly.
So if you
avoid doing something just because you are afraid that if you do that, people will judge you or condemn you, criticize you, you have no freedom.
In some cases, people will criticize you and judge you for doing the right thing.
People who are foolish will praise you for doing foolish things.
People who are foolish
will criticize you for doing good things.
So don't do anything just because people praise you or just because people, uh, criticize you and judge you and blame you. Think for yourself. Is this the right thing to do?
With wisdom, decide and do it. No matter what people say.
But in the long run, wise people will understand. Only wise people will understand.
And if you have done something and wise people judge you, heed that judgment. Pay attention to that judgment. Take that judgment with humble heart. Because they are wise. Therefore they are kind. They don't judge you just to make you feel bad.
They judge you so that you will not, uh, suffer the consequences of your bad actions.
Because they love you. Because they are compassionate. They judge you. So think carefully. Who is this person who is praising me? Who is this person who is judging me? Is he a wise and kind person? If a wise and kind person praises you, really be happy.
Feel very happy.
So
as I told you, I want freedom. If I do something just because I want to be praised, there's no freedom. I'll be thinking of what to do to get praised.
If I avoid doing something just because I'm afraid that somebody will accuse me or judge me or criticize me, then I have no freedom.
So in many cases, I've done the right thing and being blamed for that.
You may have the same experiences.
So therefore, whenever you are praised or whenever you are blamed, make your mind calm and peaceful and quiet for a while. Meditate for a while. And then think. Whether
the person who praised you is a wise and kind person. Whether that is correct, true. And if the person judges you, think carefully. Is he a wise and kind person? If he is kind and wise, then I'll take that judgment and correct myself.
Even Buddha sometimes pointed out mistakes. And even called very harsh names.
And why? Because Buddha was wise and he was loving and very compassionate.
He did not judge you to hurt you. He judged you because he wants you to see the mistake and correct yourself.
It is not easy to live your life without passing judgment on other people.
Is it really easy? I don't think it's possible.
For example, you have children. And your son or your daughter has done something wrong. What would you do? Would you say something or won't you say anything?
Or will, will, will you will say nothing?
No. Yeah. Because you are a mother. Because you are a father. You don't want your children to do bad things. Get the habit of doing bad things. Sometimes they may make mistakes. But it becomes a habit. So when you have to pass judgment, when you have to admonish, first, make your mind calm and peaceful.
And also, watch that person. Is he or she in the right mood to accept your admonishment? To accept your judgment. Wait. Be patient. And when he or she is in the right mood, don't criticize or judge or admonish
to make him shameful. To make her shameful.
Don't say anything bad about him or her in front of other people. Take her or take him away
to a secluded place and then point out, "This is wrong." It will hurt you very badly. I'm saying this because I love you. You know that. You know I love you.
So correct your mistake. Don't do this anymore. Understand that this is something wrong. Teach him. Educate him. Instead of punishing, it's better to educate.
So we pass judgment on other people. And other people pass judgment on us. We criticize other people. Other people criticize us.
But there's another person who judges you and criticizes you.
Who could that be? There's another person. Yourself. Yeah, right. That's right. Right.
That's very important. Self-criticism. Self-judgment. Self-condemnation. Won't you do that sometimes?
Yes, you do. I do.
So that is a very important thing to remember.
Of all the judgments that we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves.
For that judgment touches the very center of our existence. I've read that somewhere. And I like that very much.
Of all the judgments that we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves.
If you do something bad, something wrong, knowingly, deliberately, intentionally, can you respect yourself?
No. You cannot. At least you will say, "I'm so weak. I know this is wrong. I know this is bad. And yet I cannot control myself. I've been doing this again and again. I'm ashamed of myself." But saying that is not enough.
Many people do. So losing your self-respect is the biggest loss of all losses.
If you are not afraid of the voices inside you,
you will not fear the critics outside you.
That is really important too. What remembering. So the one person
who can really hurt you by judging you is yourself.
Other people you can just ignore. But yourself, even in your bed, you will have no peace of mind. That judge will keep judging you and criticize you and condemning you. "Why did you do that? Why did you do that?"
So honestly ask yourself if you have done something wrong. Honestly ask yourself. "Is this wrong?" If you find the answer that this is wrong, then try your best to correct it.
Get your self-respect back by correcting yourself.
I have read about
one man. Actually, I have read about many men. Many women too. I read a lot of biographies.
I have many, many biographies. Almost all famous people I've read already.
Wise people I've read already. Philosophers. Teachers.
So I've read about one person who was condemned and judged and excommunicated.
Maybe some of you know this person. He lived in Netherlands a long time ago, in the
late 17th century and early 18th century. Maybe. I don't remember exactly. Maybe late 17th century. Oh.
Let me think about it.
Late 18th century. Yeah.
His name
Baruch Spinoza.
He has another name, Benedict. He changed his name to Benedict. Benedict Spinoza. And that gentleman knows that person. Hmm.
He was judged and condemned and excommunicated. Even his relatives should not contact with him.
And his friends said, "We will judge them. We will point out their mistakes. They are not fair. This judgment is not fair." But you know what Baruch Spinoza said?
I like that very much. He said, "I will live out my own life. The world shall not be my master."
He did not get even.
I like that very much. "I will live out my own life according to my own wisdom and judgment. The world shall not be my master.
Neither praise nor blame can control me and manipulate me." In many cases, we praise to manipulate. In many cases, we blame to manipulate. We try to play with people. We try to control their behavior by making them happy, by making them unhappy. We control each other.
It's manipulation.
So when you are praising, ask yourself, "Am I manipulating? Or am I praising for the good of that person?"
If you are judging and criticizing, ask yourself, "Am I manipulating? Or am I judging and criticizing with compassion, with wisdom, for the good of that person?"
So people use praise and blame to control you, to play with you. You are a puppet in their hand. They will judge you. They will praise you. They will blame you. And you shake. You dance. You are in their hands. You become a puppet.
So remember this. What Baruch Spinoza said. "I will live out my own life. The world shall not be my master."
Really wonderful. He was a very simple and honest man and very strong man.
He lived according to his own moral principle.
So let's get back to Mangala Sutra. Puttasa, loka, dhammehi, citta, myasa, nagampati. When coming in contact with the vicissitudes of life, his mind is not affected.
By being mindful, you can do that. You will be less and less affected. I don't know when you'll be totally unaffected. But I'm sure you'll be less and less affected. And the less you are affected by praise and blame, the more freedom and dignity you have.
Even when you get too happy when you are praised, you don't have freedom.
People can control your mind, your mood. People can destroy your mood. They can make you unhappy very easily.
So will you allow other people to play with your mind? Will you like being a puppet in other people's hands? No. Nobody likes that.
So be mindful. Pay attention to how you feel when people praise you, when people blame you.
The more mindful you become, the stronger you will become, and the more freedom you will have. And by doing that, you will develop your spiritual qualities. By paying attention to how you feel when you are praised or when you are blamed, you will learn to pay more and more attention to other aspects in your life.
You will become more and more mindful in every situation.
And that is the way to become strong. That is the way to become wise. That is the way to become free.
So when you understand this little verse, this one verse, coming in contact with the vicissitudes of life, his mind is not affected. And if you know how to get that, your spiritual practice will be complete.
So by being mindful, you can become not affected by praise or blame. Then you'll be safe. Then only you'll be safe. Then only your mind will become purified. Ah, so come you will not have worries and anxieties anymore.
Think of yourself. What worries you most is other people's opinion.
"What do people think of me?" That worries you most.
Instead of asking, "What do people think of me?" ask yourself, "Am I doing the right thing?"
Then you'll be free.
So Buddha
gave us this advice so that we become strong and wise and free.
That's why I'm very grateful to the Buddha. Every day, whenever I think of Buddha, even for a few seconds, I feel this gratefulness, like waves in my heart. How grateful I am for the teaching of the Buddha. If not for the teaching of the Buddha, what would I be?
If I never practiced mindfulness, where would I be?
Definitely sure. Not here.
I can say much more when I look at the clock. My allotted time is almost over.
So I will recite this verse from Mangala Sutra.
You don't have to. But if you can, it's okay.
Puttasa, loka, dhammehi, citta, myasa, nagampati,
ah, so come vīrya, kema, etam, mañala, muddhamam.
By reciting this teaching of the Buddha and by practicing it daily, every moment in my life, I honor the Buddha.
Sayadaw U Jotika was born on August 5, 1947, into a Muslim family in Myanmar. In his youth, he was sent to study at a Christian seminary, graduating with a degree in electrical engineering and conducting extensive research in science, psychology, and Western philosophy.…