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Very peaceful day today, raining. The sound of raindrops falling on the roof, on the trees, it's very soothing.
It's even mesmerizing.
And
on this peaceful Sunday morning, I want to talk about something very unpeaceful.
Uh, I'd like to talk about positive things, positive ideas, beautiful ideas.
Because when we think and talk more about positive things, then more positive happens in our life. This is very important. I notice a lot of people, some people, think a lot of negative things. Negative things about people, about their life, about their situation, about themselves, about the weather, about the government, about the whole world. Of course there are a lot of negative things happening around, in us, and around us.
But to dwell constantly on negative things is not useful.
But anyway, things like that happen in our life. So we cannot ignore that. We cannot cover those things up. We should pay more attention, look at them very carefully, understand them, and see if we can reduce those negativity in our life. There will always be something negative happening in our body, in our mind, in our surroundings, in the environment.
So even when we talk about negative things, we are not just complaining. We are trying to find out what we can do about it. So that is positive.
So when we think or talk about negative things and stop there, that is pure negativity. It doesn't help. But when we look at the things happening in us and around us, all the negative things, and try to understand them very deeply, and see what we can do about it, how we can reduce it, it's positive.
That is what we should do. And you see, in the Four Noble Truths, the first noble truth is
the noble truth of suffering. That's something negative. But if Buddha stopped there, then we can really say that Buddha was really pessimist, a really negative person. But he didn't stop there.
He talked about the cause of suffering. And he talked about the cessation of suffering, and the practice that leads to the cessation of suffering. That is positive. So a lot of people say, "Buddhism is pessimism." No. Buddhism is not pessimism. Buddhism is realism. And in many ways I can say that Buddhism is actually optimism.
It's very optimistic. Because Buddha teaches you that you can do something about it. There's a way to work with it. That is very optimistic, actually. If they say, "Buddha said that you cannot do anything about it, it's your faith," then that is pessimism. So Buddha said, "You can do something about it. It's in your, uh, in some ways in your control."
So let's talk about something negative today, with the hope that we will understand it and reduce the negativity.
So we talk a lot about these days in technology. People think a lot about efficiency. For example, if your car is not efficient, if the engine has run down, if the tuning of the engine is not very good. Although, uh, you drive the car, you don't get enough mileage for one gallon of oil, of gasoline, you don't get enough miles.
So some cars can go for more than 30 miles one gallon. Some cars maybe only 15 miles. So it depends on the size of the car also. But anyway, we think a lot about efficiency. And building houses also, these days I hear a lot of ideas about how to build a house so that it will be efficient.
You don't need to use so much power, electricity, or anything to keep it warm or to keep it cool. Both ways. We need to think about efficiency, how to put insulations. So in the same way, I think we should think about, uh, efficiency in our life. What about efficiency of our body, of our mind?
So when negative things happen in our life, it reduces the efficiency of our body and mind. Negative thoughts.
And people also, when we deal with people, some people, they just talk about negative things again and again. And if you tell them to do something about it, they say, "I can't do anything about it." But they just want to talk about it. So when you meet some people like that, and listen to them again and again talking the same thing again and again, you want to help, but they don't want to be helped.
They just want to talk about their negative problems. What can you do about it? If you find that you can really do nothing, you cannot help them in any way anymore, the best thing is
to go away. But if you can help them, then it's worth helping. You don't waste your energy. So in many ways like that, there are people also who waste a lot of your energy. So cars waste energy if they are not well tuned, fine-tuned. Houses also, if it's not well designed and well insulated, it is not efficient.
And people also, some people are not efficient. They just waste your energy. And in work also, some people say that they work very hard to do something, and they finish the work, and they submit the work to their boss, and one person says, "The boss just put it away," not using his or her work. And this person felt very useless.
"I've worked so hard for so many months, and my work is not useful." They might say that you've been paid for it. You got enough money for it. But money is not everything. We need to feel satisfied that our work is useful for people. So one way to punish a person, one very, very cruel way to punish a person, is to tell him to do something useless.
So they have done some psychology, uh, experiments. And there are people, let's say they did some minor crimes, so they were arrested and put into prison. And the government and the other people, authorities, they allow some psychologists to do experiments on these people.
So they put, um, people in two groups. One group, they tell the person to carry sand, a heap of sand, from one place to another. And when they carried the whole heap of sand to another place, and they were told to carry the same heap of sand back to the same place again. And they were told to do that again and again.
And another group, uh, they were told to carry some earth, dig the earth, and make a road. Carry rocks and pave the road. So they were told to work the same amount of time, hour, to do the same amount of work.
The first group became very depressed and sick. The second group became very happy, very happy and energetic. They were doing the same amount of work, just carrying some earth, sand, rocks from one place to another place.
Why is that?
They have satisfaction because the second group is doing something meaningful and useful. They feel that, "I'm doing something good for people. I'm making a road." They feel very happy. Although they feel tired, the same amount of tiredness, bodily. But they don't feel tired mentally. They don't feel depressed.
So to be efficient is very important. How much useful work we do for ourselves and for other people. So no one would sit back and carelessly allow money or time to wither away. So when you have money, you want to invest that money. You buy some stocks. And you listen to the stock market. And if you hear that the company, the stock from the company that you bought, the value is going down and down, you'll sell that stock as quickly as possible.
Because you don't want to lose your money. You don't want your money to go down the drain. And you buy another stock, which you believe will give you some, uh, some money, make profit. So we think a lot about these things. Not to waste our money. But what about time? What about energy?
Our time and energy. We waste a lot of time and energy. That's why we don't have time, enough time. Wasting so much time. Let's say sitting and watching a television show for three, four hours.
That's, that's just a waste of time. Not even entertainment anymore. It becomes a kind of addiction. You don't really feel happy about it. So
no one would sit back and carelessly allow money or time to wither away. But very few seem to care about mental energy and frame of mind. Mental energy and frame of mind. So very important to watch your thoughts the whole day. So watching your thoughts is Citta Nupassana. What do you think the whole day?
If you are thinking about some problem, uh, and you don't do anything about it, you can't do anything about it, but just keep thinking round and round and round and round all day, you are just wasting your mental energy. And not just mental energy. You waste your bodily energy too. You become very tired. You lose your creativity. When people become calm and peaceful and mindful, they become more creative.
They can see things more clearly. They can put the ideas together and find out a better way to do things, to create new ideas and new things also. But when you are thinking of some negative thought, uh, and you don't do anything about it, you can't do anything about it, but just keep thinking and thinking and thinking, you are just wasting your time.
So if you pay more attention to the kind of thoughts that you think the whole day, you'll find that
a big percentage of them is useless. Very big percentage is just useless.
So daily aggravation numbers among the greatest destructors of your mental energy and your frame of mind. Aggravation. Something that makes you upset. And how much do you experience every day? Aggravation. Situations that make you irritated, upset, angry.
Uh, it depends on your frame of mind. Some people don't react so much. They maintain their calmness and peacefulness and equanimity much more. But some people, the moment they wake up, they start thinking, "Oh, another day."
You're already aggravated. Just because there's another day, you are unhappy about it.
So that's why it is very important, as soon as you wake up in the morning, to meditate. To be mindful. To pay attention to your thoughts. And if you get used to doing it, the first thing that will happen to you is meditation. Calmness, peacefulness, mindfulness. And that puts your mind into a frame.
Mental frame. Calm and peaceful. Not reacting. So mindfulness is not reacting. Reaction is not mindfulness. And reaction is not freedom. Reaction is a prison.
So daily aggravation numbers among the greatest destructors of mental energy and your frame of mind. So something goes wrong. For example, say, today it is raining. Maybe I'm very happy that it is raining. Early in the morning I heard raining. Very happy. But maybe some people, they'll think, "Oh, raining."
That, that is aggravation. You are just allowing yourself to be upset.
So some people can see positive in many things. Any, almost anything. So I know one teacher, actually the teacher of my teacher.
Um, that the teacher of my teacher is passed away. The teacher is still living because I have many teachers. And
he was a big teacher, monk. And he had many disciples. And he made a very big monastery also, a kind of university for monks.
And he was always positive. Always saying nice things about people. So there were also many of his friends who were his contemporaries, very friendly, friendly, so they can talk to each other like friends. So one of his friends, his junior also, said, "Sayadaw, you are always praising something about people.
Now I want to ask you one question. There is one monk here who is crazy, who is nuts.
And what can you praise about him? What can you see anything good about him? Tell me." You know what the Sayadaw said? "He walks very gently without making any noise. Just like a cat. He never makes a noise."
So this Sayadaw, he has, he finds something to praise about even this monk who was nuts.
No noise. He talks very gently. He moves like a cat.
So it's your personality, temperament. Very important. But don't blame that, "Oh, it's my personality to grumble all day." No. You can change your personality. If you become more mindful, you can change it. So that's what I talked about yesterday too. When you develop very deep samādhi, concentration, and mindfulness, and develop some insight, it changes your personality.
I know a lot of people who were very, uh, reactive, automatically reacting, and seeing all the bad things happening in his life, became, become very positive. Very peaceful and calm. I talked about him once. Uh, his friend noticed that and said, "Oh, you are so happy and peaceful."
He said, "I used to be very unhappy and very, uh, aggravated. Very aggro. But I have learned to be peaceful." So this is something you can learn. You don't say that, "Oh, it's my personality to be unhappy. I cannot do anything about it." Or, "Oh, I was conditioned like that since very young."
This is just conditioning. Yes, if you can be conditioned to become like this, you can condition yourself again to become peaceful. Why not? If you can do it one way, you can do it another way.
So there's always hope. If you will, you can do that.
So one hour of intensive aggravation costs you more energy than 12 hours of hard work. Is that true?
One hour of intensive aggravation can cost you more energy than 12 hours of hard work. So it depends on how, uh, how strong you react. Especially people with some heart problem, they'll say, "Yes, it's really true." Whenever they get upset, they lose all the energy.
They cannot do anything anymore. Just go to bed. Lie down. So very important to watch your mental state. This is part of our meditation. So when do you get aggravated? When do you get upset?
Mostly when you go and work, when you meet with somebody, when you go out. So some people say, "I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to be in my room. I don't want to let anybody come into my room. Then I will not be upset." Can you live your life like that productively all your life? No.
So
not shutting yourself, but going out and doing things that you need to do, meeting with people, and still maintain your mental frame. Your calmness and your peacefulness is something that we should learn.
Aggravation lowers your irritation threshold. So most of us are carrying, uh, a kind of residual irritation or anger or frustration most of the time. We are not really satisfied, totally satisfied most of the time. But it happens to some meditators.
When they meditate, they become very calm and peaceful.
No irritation anymore. No aggravation anymore. No anger anymore. No frustration anymore. They can become really calm and peaceful. And if you can experience that kind of calmness and peacefulness, even for a brief moment, even for one minute, that can really affect your life. You don't get enlightened immediately, but it will have real effect in your life because you have a reference now.
So most people don't have any reference. I know a lot of people. They are so unhappy, so agitated all the time because they don't have any reference. And when they try to meditate and learn and become very calm and peaceful, even for a brief moment, suddenly they change. They said, "I don't have to be that way anymore.
I know I can do something about it." Then they try to be more and more mindful, more and more mindful. Even when they are on the street, on the road, walking, meeting with people, they try to maintain their peacefulness, mindfulness.
So we need a kind of reference. But it's, it's, it should be your experience, not just an idea. We cannot learn, uh, just from listening or reading. We learn from doing. So to understand peacefulness, you must become peaceful first. Not enough just to listen to what peacefulness is and how to get it.
Do it. Experience it. Once you have, you have experienced it, from that perspective, you can see that you don't have to be angry and upset about everything. It is not useful.
So aggravation lowers your irritation threshold. So already, if you have already some kind of aggravation, and when you see or hear or meet somebody who, uh, does something that you don't like, because you are already aggravated, uh, you explode.
So some people will say that this person gets upset for, for nothing. Even parents, children say that, "Oh, my father." You can't say anything. You say something and you make a small mistake, he gets upset and shouts and yells. So better to avoid him.
Because we are carrying already some kind of, um, sadness or unhappiness, unsatisfactoriness all the time. A slight irritation can make us explode. So it's not their fault totally. Although they contribute to, uh, to a certain extent. But totally, they are not totally wrong.
Not totally their fault. You are participating in it. So when anything happens in your life, try to find out in what way you are participating in it.
Uh, in psychology also, they have a phrase, uh,
participation of evil.
I don't remember exactly who said that, but I read that idea and it's a very wonderful idea.
We are participating in whatever is happening in our life. Even when we watch television, uh, and we watch the news, and then there's some bad news, then you get upset. "Oh, look at that. So terrible things happening." Sometimes they say, "Just lying. These people are just lying. These politicians, they are just lying."
You get upset.
So when you get upset, can you get upset without participating?
You cannot.
So nobody can really make you happy. Nobody can really make you unhappy.
Unless you participate in it. You watch a television or a video and somebody is making a joke. If you just maintain your mindfulness and just hear the sounds and no words, you don't laugh. So to laugh at a joke, you have to participate. So understand this idea very deeply.
Every emotion you experience because you participate in it.
So see how much you are doing that all day. If you don't participate, then it won't affect you. Either way.
So be responsible. I am participating. And I am responsible. For happiness or for, for unhappiness. Nobody can make me laugh if I don't want to laugh. I can just maintain my equanimity. Say anything. Even some people tickle. If you don't participate, you don't laugh. You can do that.
So you have that power. Understand your own power. I have that power. I am, I am powerful. I can maintain my equanimity. I can maintain my peacefulness. I can maintain my mindfulness. I am powerful. If you say that I can't do anything about it, then it means that you are powerless. They can do anything to me.
If you allow a person come up to you and say one word and destroy your whole mental state, then what will you say? Are you powerful? Or is he powerful?
He is powerful. He can do anything to you any moment. He can destroy your frame of mind any moment. So who is giving that power? You are giving that power to him by participating with him.
And if you understand that, then you feel responsible for your own unhappiness.
It ensures that minor events will have an easier time toppling you. So when you are already irritated, then minor events can topple you. You cannot maintain your equanimity.
It narrows your awareness and makes you short-sighted or blind. When people become very angry, they become mentally, I mean, blind.
They don't see what is right, what is wrong, what is proper, what is not proper. So strong emotion, uh, influences your mind and makes you become less mindful. Less mindful means you become blind.
But if we practice mindfulness throughout the day, every day, we will develop more and more mindfulness. Mindfulness becomes stronger and stronger. And you can be mindful before anything happens. You are mindful before anything happens. So you are prepared. And in that state, if something happens, you don't react.
So reaction, action, and response, the three words are very similar in meaning, but they are not the same. They are very different. Reaction means it happens automatically. Somebody come and push your button and you react automatically. So automatic reaction is mostly unwholesome.
Either you react with greed, with anger, with pride, or with envy or jealousy, whatever. Mostly automatic reaction is unwholesome because
unmindful.
But when we practice meditation, become and become more and more mindful, when we see or when we hear something, before we react, uh, because there's mindfulness, there's, uh, kind of wisdom there. Understanding there. So when you need to do something about it, you respond. So response comes with mindfulness and understanding.
So there's freedom. So response has freedom. Reaction, no freedom.
Do you want to be free or not? It's up to you. You can train your mind and become free. Or you can just let your mind run wild and become not free. So who is making us free or unfree?
Our own thoughts, our own mind, our own moha, which is heedlessness, mindlessness, absent-mindedness. So the more absent-minded we are, the less freedom we have. The more mindful we become, the more freedom we have.
And the more freedom you have, the more you feel powerful too. Because people who are not free feel powerless.
People who are free, they feel more power. So mindfulness makes you feel more powerful, more free. You don't react automatically. You understand the situation very well. Even when somebody come and tell you something bad, you understand that person very well, his mental state, why he's saying that. And you can respond.
I don't mean don't say anything and run away because that doesn't solve the problem. Understand the person, understand the situation, and maintain your mindfulness and do what is right. Then you are powerful. Then you are free. And you don't lose your self-respect also. When you react and do something even worse, then later you feel regret.
And feeling regret is not very good. You lose your self-respect. I've done something wrong. This person did something wrong, but I did something even worse.
It reduces your judgment, causes you to make errors. So when you are mindful, you make less error. You might still make some error, some mistakes, but small mistakes, and you can adjust yourself very quickly
without making a big mistake. But when you are not mindful, then you can do or say something really terrible, and it will be very difficult to correct that again.
So when you do mistakes and errors, then you respond to new aggravation. It makes you even more unhappy. So, uh, just like, uh, you have a
thorn in your flesh and you try to bring that thorn out using another thorn, and you break that second one and get through. So many things happen like that in people's lives. Something goes wrong, they react too much, and they do something wrong again and makes the problem even worse.
So aggravation is an ever-present trap. Trap. It's a trap.
Any kind of strong emotion is a trap, actually.
Because it doesn't make you free. Aggravation makes you nervous. So when you are aggravated, you become nervous, and that makes you even less mindful. So you tend to make more mistakes. So nervous, flustered, and volatile. So when you make a mistake, you become nervous and flustered.
And because you want to protect yourself, you even attack another person more, blame that other person even more, and destroy your relationship. So very important not to react too much. You destroy your relationship. You destroy people's trust in you. Even parents, very important.
Parents think that because they have given birth to the child, because they have brought up the child, they can say and do anything they like. Not in the West. In many other countries, parents feel that they own their child. They can do anything. They can say anything. They can beat, punish. But even in the West, I've heard sometimes very terrible things.
I've heard one story. One mother locked her daughter in a toilet in the cold winter. The child was shivering, freezing, crying, "Mother, let me go out. Let me get out." No. Punishing. Too much. This is not teaching. This is cruelty. You don't teach a child that way.
Uh, and aggravation, it takes away your concentration. So when you get aggravated, your mind is not concentrated. It is not calm. So the first thing we should do is to get in touch with that mental state. My mind is not calm. It is agitated now. I'm very upset. And very wild thoughts coming.
It takes away your concentration and steals from you the strength for relaxed communication. So to get mutual understanding, we need relaxed communication. Take your time. Listen. Listen very carefully what the other person is trying to communicate, trying to say. Not just the words. Watch the expressions on the face, the eyes, the lips, the tone, the loudness, and even the gesture of the hand or head or anything.
Because communication goes much beyond words. So to understand a person, listen to their body sign language also. Look at the body language also. Try to understand that person's feeling. It might be somebody you work with together, your boss maybe, maybe your family member, anybody.
Pay attention. If you pay attention and listen very carefully, that other person calms down a little bit. Whenever somebody listens to us, we calm down. But whenever, uh, you argue back before that person hasn't finished saying what he wants to say, then that person will get more agitated, shout even more, makes this relationship even worse.
So pay attention to yourself, to your feeling, and then pay attention to another person also. That means maturity. You have to do that first. Don't wait for another person to do that for you. So to understand yourself and maintain your mindfulness and calmness as much as possible, and also to pay attention to another person, is kindness.
Paying attention to what another person is saying is kindness to you.
It's a kind of generosity also. If you are really generous and kind, you can pay attention. If you are not generous and if you are not kind, you don't want to listen. You just want to say what you want to say. You just dump your, your emotions out. So even to your children, listen. That is kindness. If you are not willing to listen to your children or your spouse or your friends, then how can you say that you care for them or you love them?
So only by paying attention and listening and trying to understand what the person is saying and feeling, and that way you express your kindness. You express your love.
Aggravation makes you undisciplined.
So discipline means doing what is important first and not doing what is not important. Not wasting your time. But when you get very upset,
you are drawn or influenced by that emotion, and you do something not useful. So that way you become undisciplined. It robs you of your view of priorities, rankings, and differences in significance. So we need to understand what is significance, what is not significance. So the more mindful you become, the more you see this very clearly.
This is important and useful and significant. That is not important, not useful, and not significant.
So I'm not going to waste my time. So most people who are not mindful, they live their life with the emotion. And emotion doesn't make choice. Can't make any real choice. So you lump altogether significant and insignificant, and there are more insignificant things in your life.
So you waste a lot of time doing insignificant things. Thinking, talking, many things which are insignificant. So the more mindful you become, the more you go for quality. The more you go for efficiency. So even if you watched a television show, if you are mindful, you'll stop watching that show if it is not useful for you anymore.
If you cannot learn anything from it anymore. If you read a magazine, if you are mindful, you can read the article which is useful for you. I read articles which is about health mainly. I'm very interested. And about mental states, mind, I'm still interested. But if it's gossip, no.
I can't even read a page anymore. So sometimes I find an old newspaper and try to turn the pages. Don't find anything to read.
Not worth wasting your time. You don't have that much time to waste. Life is too short and too valuable. So when you become more mindful, uh, you value your time. You value your mental space also. So one meditator said, "Treat your mind as a shrine room."
A shrine room is a place neat and pure. No dust, no impurity. Very neat, very pure. There's nothing useless in a shrine room.
So if possible, make your mind like a, like this meditation hall.
So watch your mind. Are you allowing all the rubbish coming to your mind?
Are you really censoring what's coming into your mind? From your eyes, from your ears, from what you think. So censoring is very important. Otherwise, there will be no efficiency, no quality in your life.
You become the object of emotions. So look, uh, are you the master of your mind or are you the slave of your mind?
Slave of your mind means slave of your emotions.
Look very deeply in your mind and find the answer. Am I the master or am I the slave?
You march off without any thought and without any planning. When you become too emotional, you don't think anymore. You don't plan anymore. You just go ahead and do whatever your emotion is forcing you to do.
You explode and then sometimes need hours to collect yourself, to gather your composure again. So when you explode for a long time, you become more and more, you get more and more agitated. And sometimes you have to go and apologize.
Aggravation leaves you no time, no attention, and no energy to do the really important things today. When you get upset, you spend a lot of time thinking about that. You can't use your time and energy for any really productive, creative work. So it's a very big waste of time.
Less aggravation means less unrest. So be mindful as much as possible throughout the day. When you are driving on the road, be very mindful. If you are not mindful, you get upset with other people on the road.
Uh, here the roads are very clear most of the time. So it's easier to drive here. In some other places, it's very, very difficult from, from to go from one place to another. You get very upset and very uptight. Some people, they really shout and yell.
You can even kill yourself getting upset. So when you are aggravated, you are not patient. You become impatient.
Aggravation leads you to wound others. You hurt other people. You become insensitive, disrespectful, disregard. Maybe that other person has done something wrong. Maybe it's a mistake. Accidentally, somebody did something wrong. Probably. Because all of us are more or less, uh, careless sometimes. So when a person is already upset, that person cannot understand the situation.
Cannot forgive.
Aggravation makes you unjust and aggressive.
Unjust. You are not just anymore. Even to your children sometimes, you punish too harshly. And you are not teaching or educating. You are just, uh, dumping your emotions.
When you are aggravated, you attack, strike back, accuse, hurt, and threaten. So much negativity happening one after another.
Aggravation produces horrible faces. Ah, that's very important. Horrible faces.
So what makes a person look beautiful?
Calmness, peacefulness, kindness, serenity. So most of my teachers, um, live very long life. One teacher lived for 104 years. I've got one of his books here. You can see his pictures 100 years ago. Very calm and peaceful. Very collected.
Until his last days, he was very, very calm and peaceful. He planned his funeral
before he died. Another teacher lived for 90 years. Another teacher also lived for 90 years. Mostly very thin, brown color, old. But they look so beautiful. You want to be near them. You want to talk with them. One teacher, when he was 90 years old, uh, sometimes he forget things.
And he's very thin. He was very thin also. Very small body. I can pick him up. Sometimes I pick him up and carry him. So sometimes he will eat his breakfast and eat his lunch, and then he take a nap. When he wakes up, he, he thought that it was another day. And he said, "Nobody is bringing anything for me, for my breakfast."
And the monks, the teachers, the, the, the sadhus around said, "Yes, yes, they will come. Just wait for a while." And then after a while he said, "I haven't my breakfast, yes, yet." And then they will say, "No, no, you eat some sattu mudru." Sattu mudru means honey and butter and oil and molasses mixed together. Give him something to eat and he ate that.
And then gave him some juice to drink and he just take, drink the juice also. And then later went back to sleep. Then the next day he said, "Yes, yes, nobody gave me anything to eat. I just ate some sattu mudru." But he was not upset. He was not complaining. He just expressed his thoughts and feelings.
"Nobody gave me anything to eat. I just ate some sattu mudru and drank a glass of juice. That's the only thing I had yesterday."
Always very cheerful. Sometimes I'll be sitting near him, talking with him and asking him, doing things for him. And then after half an hour he said, "Are you Jyotira?"
Sometimes he didn't notice who he, who was talking to him. But very calm and peaceful. He lost his memory, a lot of his memory. But still he maintained his calmness and peacefulness and equanimity, forgiveness, acceptance, all those qualities.
We really loved him.
And he passed away very, not suffering anything. He was, he ate his breakfast one morning. And then he said, "I feel tight in my stomach and chest. I'm, I'm going to sleep." And then somebody, a younger monk, just let him down. And he fell asleep and died.
No sickness. So when you are near a person, then you know what real beauty means. The beauty of the, the heart. The beauty of understanding, acceptance, forgiveness, calmness, peacefulness. It's real beauty. So we think more about the beauty of our face and body.
What about the beauty of our heart, our mind? So if you can train yourself, you become more and more beautiful as you become older.
Like that idea?
I like that idea very much. I'm trying. I want to become more and more beautiful as I grow older. So I'm happy that I'm growing old because I know that I'm becoming more beautiful.
So don't be unhappy that you are growing old, older. It's good.
So it makes your face, this, this aggravation, it makes your face stony and your stomach sour. So when you're upset, your stomach produces more acid.
So, and also your face become very harsh, stony. Not soft and gentle.
Very ugly. How much joy, energy, drive, time, and money does aggravation take from you day in and day out? How much you are wasting. See? Money, time, drive, energy, joy. You're wasting.
Instead of being joyful, you are unhappy. You are upset. Who is doing that? You are participating. You are creating that actually. With your own thoughts, you are creating. We conserve, we are buying new cars because it is more efficient. We are building new houses because it will be more efficient.
But think more about your body and mind. Make yourself, make your body and mind more efficient. Conserve your energy. We have very limited amount of time and energy.
So cultivate a greater sense of responsibility towards yourself.
Responsibility towards yourself. You are responsible for your happiness. To make yourself happy, peaceful, calm, loving.
The time to put an end to the aggravation is today.
Don't wait until tomorrow. It's today, this very moment. This very moment. Give yourself a chance to cool down. Whenever something happens and it upsets you, take some time, meditate even for a couple of minutes. Breathe in, breathe out.
Relax your face. Relax your hands. Because when you get upset, your face become tense. And your hands also becomes tight. So when you get upset, be in touch with your own face and hands
and relax.
Even for a couple of minutes, it will help you very much. And then if you have more time, meditate a little bit more, calm down, and see what's the best thing you can do. Try your best. We can always try to do things better. Even in a small way, we can always try to do things better. So try your best.
I've heard a story. It because as soon as I use this word, try your best, uh, not a story. I remember a song. It's a country music song. But I don't remember all the lyrics. If anybody can give me the lyrics of the song, I'll be really grateful. But I remember a few lines. So the first line I remember is, "It's hard to be humble when you are doing your best."
Anybody heard that song? "Lord, it's hard to be humble."
"Lord, it's hard to be humble when you are doing your best." Another line is, "Lord, it's hard to be humble when you are perfect in every way."
But that is very difficult to be perfect in every, every way. But yes, it's hard for me to be humble because I'm trying my best. I'm doing my best. I'm doing the best that I could. That's just boast, boasting. I can do something better, but I'm not really trying my best.
So anyway, even when you don't try your best, forgive yourself. Don't get aggravated and try it again.
Don't destroy yourself by constantly worried and aggravated. Don't destroy yourself. When you get angry, you are destroying your body and mind. This negative mentality produces some, something like poison in your body. You are poisoning your body and mind.
So
actually we hurt ourselves more than anybody else does. We hurt ourselves
by keeping these negative thoughts going on.
When you are overstressed, you become more irritable. So when you feel very stressful, don't go on doing anything. Don't go and see anybody. Go away to a quiet and peaceful place, even for a few minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Go away and meditate for a while and relax. Go into a park. Or if you are driving in a car, park your car somewhere, sit in your car and take a rest.
Relax, meditate. Even for 5 minutes.
So when you are overstressed, you become more irritable. When you become more irritable, you are quicker to get aggravated. So don't let that happen. When you feel that you are becoming overstressed, take a break.
But if you learn to meditate throughout the day, you can take a break even in your own place, in your office or at home, anywhere, and meditate where you are, wherever you are.
If you are trained, if you have trained yourself that much, you don't have to go anywhere. You can meditate anywhere. But one of my friends, he did something and I'll give you that advice. He worked very hard, very long hours every day. And he loved his work actually. But sometimes even though you love your work, you really get very tired.
You work with people and sometimes people annoy you so much. So even though you try to be patient and mindful, sometimes you are at your limit. So this friend, you know what he does? Anybody guess? I think I told you the story once.
He goes into the toilet, shuts the door, and sits on the toilet seat and meditates. Now nobody can come and disturb him. Nobody will do that. And sit there for 5 minutes meditating and then come out relaxed.
So very good advice. Sometimes you really need to do that.
So don't forget that advice.
Surround yourself with objects that will immediately spark positive thoughts when you cast your eyes, your gaze upon them. So at home, don't put any pictures that will annoy you. Take away all the pictures if possible and put a beautiful scenery or like a, if you like, a beautiful serene Buddha image, maybe a painting, anything that makes you feel peaceful.
A beautiful scenery, if you have a scenery of a mountain, rocky mountain with trees and a lake, snow-capped mountain, very clear lake, reflecting the mountains and the trees, find a scenery like that, a painting or a printing like that, and keep it near your place.
Whenever you look at that picture, you become very calm and peaceful. Mountain symbolize strength, unmovable. Rocky mountain, you cannot move it. It is stable. No matter how strong the storm comes, the rocky mountain doesn't move. But the trees, it also has a symbol.
When strong wind comes, it just gives way. It doesn't break. Okay, give way, give way, let it go. And then back to your own position again. I look at eucalyptus trees. In my monastery, I've planted many eucalyptus trees, some very big now, very, very tall. They are the tallest in the monastery. When the strong wind comes, they just bend down.
And then after the wind is gone, they are back in their own position. No problem. Flexibility. So trees give you the symbol, the idea of flexibility. Be flexible. Don't be rigid. If you are rigid, you break. You break yourself. Be flexible. And the lake, uh, the snow symbolize coolness, tranquility.
It's very cool and tranquil. And the lake, like a mirror, symbolize stillness, calm and still, clear, reflecting everything. So that sort of picture reminds you of all those feelings. If you can tune into the picture, get used to it. Every time you look at it, look very carefully and tune in.
Very calm and stable and cool and clear.
So whenever you see the picture, it reminds you. So have reminders around you which will make you feel more mindful, more peaceful, more flexible. Very, very important these are. So don't have newspapers and magazines that annoy you. So the worst thing that you can do for yourself is read a newspaper early in the morning.
The worst thing you can do or switch on the television and watch news.
So I want a few more minutes,
uh, just to give you a few words so that you can reflect on these words and see if you can relate to the emotion, uh,
for which these words are
used. Uh, so the first word, a few words is cold, silent hatred. Have you ever met somebody like that? Cold, silent hatred. He looks very cold, very silent, but you can feel that he has got a lot of hatred there.
And criticism. Some people, even though they don't say anything, just by their look, you can see that he is criticizing and judging. It's not understanding, accepting, forgiving.
Sarcasm. Sarcasm. Is that the right pronunciation? Sarcasm. So some people are very sarcastic. Irritation. These are negative words. But see if you can find yourself having emotions like that. Resentment.
Cruelty, bitterness, quarrelsomeness, malevolence, sulkiness, blind rage. Ah, that's very terrible thing. Frustration, spite, vengefulness, hostility,
sneering. English words, very colorful. We don't have so much words in Burmese to express these different shades of negative emotions. Really, we don't have that. It's very hard for me to translate this into Burmese. Not possible. Ask anybody here who speaks Burmese.
We don't have that much words. English language is very colorful.
And
fear, anxiety,
apprehension,
nervousness, concern, consternation.
Very different shades of meaning. Misgiving, worriness, qualm, edginess, dread, fright, terror, phobia, panic. All these words in Pali is dosa. One word in Pali dosa
means everything, everything.
And disgust, contempt, disdain, scorn,
aberrance, aversion, distaste, revulsion.
So many different nuances of feeling, negative.
Shame, guilt, embarrassment, chagrin, remorse, humiliation, regret, contrition,
fury, outrage, resentment, wrath, exasperation, indignation, vexation, acrimony, animosity, annoyance, irritability, hostility, hatred, violence, sadness, grief, sorrow, cheerlessness, gloom, melancholy, self-pity, loneliness, dejection, despair,
depression. All that means dosa. One word. So I want you to understand the meaning of the word dosa. All these negative feelings are dosa. So Buddha said, "Sa dosa samva citam, sa dosam citam ti pacanadi." When you have this kind of negative thoughts, look at them very closely and understand that these are dosa.
Not yours. Doesn't belong to you. It's not a being. It's just an emotion, a thought. So the more you see these negative things, negative thoughts and emotions, the less they will arise. The more you be in control of them.
So I cut everything short to fit into my time slot.
So
understand these things. Very important.
Oh, I forgot one thing.
I don't understand the meaning of one word here in this poem. So I want to know the meaning if anybody can help me.
What is that word?
Surfeit. What is the meaning? S-U-R-F-E-I-T.
Oh, surplus.
Oh.
Thank you.
So we have come to the end now. Yes.
Thank you, Venerable Sir. Friends, just a few announcements. Firstly, the annual general meeting will be held on April 6th at 12:30 in the hall here. And those members who have not paid the membership fees, could you kindly please pay them today
before the annual general meeting here. And nominations will close today. Today is the last day. So if anybody is willing to get into the committee, please hand in your nominations this afternoon. And there will be a future directions meeting this afternoon at 12:30. And those who wish to participate, please do stay behind.
And of course, within the next month, I'll be going on repeating about the fundraising, um, play Siddhartha, which is to be played, which is to be staged at Monash University on the 26th of April in the Buddhist Society of Victoria. So what we need is from the membership help in various ways, mainly in the sale of tickets because the sale of tickets has not been very good so far.
So if each one of you can come forward and say, "Okay, I'll sell five tickets," that would be a great response on the society. And for those, the sake of those who are new today, I would like to say that alms will be offered to Venerable Jyotika shortly. And after that, we would like everyone to participate in the communal lunch.
Thank you.
I would also like to encourage you to participate in this society. Very important. If we want good things to happen, we should participate in whatever way we can. And I'll try to do my best. And I want you to try your best.
It's very important. What we are doing here is very important, very useful, very beautiful.
It will not happen by itself. We have to make it happen.
So we'll pay respect to the Buddha Dharma Sangha now. Very beautiful way of paying respect and honor.
I ma ya dhamma nu dhamma patipadiya
buddham pucimi.
I honor the Buddha
by the very practice
which leads to liberation.
I ma ya dhamma nu dhamma patipadiya dhamma pucimi. I honor the Dhamma
by the very practice that leads to liberation.
I ma ya dhamma nu dhamma patipadiya sangham pucimi. I honor the Sangha by the very practice that leads to liberation.
Sayadaw U Jotika was born on August 5, 1947, into a Muslim family in Myanmar. In his youth, he was sent to study at a Christian seminary, graduating with a degree in electrical engineering and conducting extensive research in science, psychology, and Western philosophy.…