Q&AGaia House Retreat5 Jun 2015
Interview groups E and F session 4 with priority for group f to speak — Wanting to Understand, Effort, and Knowing the Mind
Sayadaw U Tejaniya · 1 hr 27 min
Original audio: Burmese · English interpretation
0:00−1:27:57
Uses compressed audio.
AI-written summary
A group interview addressing self-judgment, observing mental states to facilitate change, and adopting relaxation instead of excessive effort. The teacher encourages maintaining continuous awareness, recognizing subtle greed behind the wanting to understand, and accepting the natural conditions of mind and body.
Topics
Talks in this retreat
Gaia House Retreat · 22 talks
- 1330 minMorning Guided meditation — Cultivating the Wholesome and the Value of Sati3 Jun 2015
- 141 hr 31 minInterview groups A and B session 3 with priority for group a to speak — Working with Emotions and Thoughts with Right View3 Jun 2015
- 151 hr 48 minInterview groups C and D session 3 with priority for group c to speak — Recognizing Wrong Attitude and the Difference Between Goal and Expectation3 Jun 2015
- 1626 minMorning Guided meditation — Knowing the Awareness and the Object, Thinking, and Intention4 Jun 2015
- 171 hr 41 minInterview groups E and F session 3 with priority for group E to speak — Wisdom and Defilements4 Jun 2015
- 181 hr 46 minInterview groups A and B session 4 with priority for group b to speak — Observing Aversion and Watching the Mind Door4 Jun 2015
- 1922 minMorning guided meditation · intro to talking meditation — Being Mindful When Speaking5 Jun 2015
- 201 hr 50 minInterview groups C and D session 4 with priority for group d to speak — Working with Anger and Daily Awareness5 Jun 2015
- Viewing211 hr 28 minInterview groups E and F session 4 with priority for group f to speak — Wanting to Understand, Effort, and Knowing the Mind5 Jun 2015
- 2241 minClosing talk · daily life instructions — Maintaining Practice at Home5 Jun 2015
Transcript
EnglishFriday, June 5, at Guidehouse with Sayadaw U Tejaniya, group ENF session 4.
EnglishOkay.
EnglishOh, I can— I'd like to share,
Englishum, that I had, um,
Englishin the middle of the retreat, about the middle of the retreat,
Englishbefore it was sort of relaxed. And then it sort of— I have that sometimes in retreats that I realize how much I judge, how much I sort of judge people, you know. Um, I probably also do it in other times.
EnglishAnd, um, and it got very, very strong. It's very many judgments about everybody I see,
Englishand all present persons, and also some not present persons.
EnglishAnd, uh, it was painful.
EnglishAnd I got sometimes angry with people, but also, uh, mostly angry with myself because
Englishit's not with my values to judge people, um, but not under my control. And, um, and then the, um, the right view helped a lot, you know, because I, I could see this anger and with others and with myself that I hate myself if I'm like that.
EnglishAnd I just— it was like a storm, and then angry, and then sad, and then, hmm, sad, sad. And, um, and then at one point, I don't know why or how, I think it was Wednesday morning, suddenly,
Englishum, I, I— my own things that I did many years ago
Englishcame up, you know. Like, you open a lid and, um, for nearly two days, pop, you know, they pop up, you know, not nice things I've done.
EnglishAnd very, very, uh, clear or vivid, you know. I didn't have to do much, you know, just— and, um, yeah, I was also leaning back, trying not to take it too personal. But it was pain, pain, painful.
EnglishUm,
Englishand I wish I would— some things I would really wish I would have done differently in many situations.
EnglishIt was between I was 20 and 30, in a way. And, and one point in meditation, funny thing, sometimes I— one point my, my skin was burning and itching, you know.
EnglishAnd, um, I knew I want to be very still and not judge it and not say it's pain or because it would be unbearable, and it went away quite quickly, actually. But it was really strong, you know.
EnglishYeah. And then afterwards, I was a bit more friendlier with others, softer judgments, less judgments. Yeah. And, um,
Englishthat was really nice. It's softer, softer. And, um, and also, while these heavy judgments, I still felt friends with us.
EnglishAnd, um, now I feel more friends with us. And I'm grateful that you didn't all run away.
EnglishAnd, um,
Englishand, um, I, I see some— maybe that helps me a little bit to be more— like you said, we are all imperfect, you said yesterday, or someday. And, um,
Englishand, and one thing that I didn't expect was funny, that I— that I'm interested because at that time, I thought I didn't think I was doing something wrong.
EnglishI thought, yes, maybe these others are sort of stupid, narrow bourgeoise, and they can learn something from me.
EnglishI thought that was good or right or— so I'm interested now what now I don't know. Or now I maybe I think, you know, for my blind spot. It's just sort of a little interest what that could be, even though I might not find out, you know.
EnglishYes. And, and thank you for everybody and every— yes, it was a journey. And, um, and now I'm grateful and feel a little bit softer.
EnglishYes. Thank you very much.
EnglishNo, no. No, no, no. Just make it easier. Yeah. Now, just look at. Simba. Don't— sikha, don't cut her out. I mean, look at her loaded there. Now, bro, to, um,
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Sayadaw U Tejaniya began his Buddhist training as a young teenager in Burma under the late Shwe Oo Min Sayadaw (1913–2002). After a career in business and life as a householder, he has become a permanent monk since 1996.…