Q&AInsight Meditation Society Retreat7 May 2014
Dharma Discussion group D4 — Self-Criticism, Right Effort, and Defilements
Sayadaw U Tejaniya · 1 hr 58 min
Original audio: Burmese · English interpretation
0:00−1:58:15
Uses compressed audio.
AI-written summary
This group interview explores self-criticism, judgment, and observing the mind to lessen identification. The teacher explains balancing receptive awareness with active investigation, emphasizing that continuous awareness naturally cultivates wholesome qualities.
Topics
Talks in this retreat
Insight Meditation Society Retreat · 35 talks
- 262 hr 14 minDharma Discussion group F3 — Being Aware of Awareness, Personal Effort, and Looking Internally at Defilements5 May 2014
- 271 hr 41 minDharma Discussion group A4 — Practicing with Regret, Delusion, and Emotions6 May 2014
- 282 hr 1 minDharma Discussion group B4 — Wisdom, Delusion, and Relationships Between Defilements6 May 2014
- 291 hr 53 minDharma Discussion group C4 — Conditioning, Mind-Matter, and Aware Speaking7 May 2014
- Viewing301 hr 58 minDharma Discussion group D4 — Self-Criticism, Right Effort, and Defilements7 May 2014
- 3131 minMorning reflections — Momentum of Awareness and Detecting Subtle Defilements8 May 2014
- 322 hr 5 minDharma Discussion group E4 — Simple Awareness and Defilements8 May 2014
- 331 hr 47 minDharma Discussion group F4 — Natural Awareness, Sinking Mind and Dealing with Strong Emotions8 May 2014
- 3439 minLast words from Sayadaw9 May 2014
- 3550 minGroup discussion — Working with Defilements and Mind-Brain Relationship9 May 2014
Transcript
English
Okay. This is May 7, Insight Meditation Society, discussion group D, in Sayadaw U Tejaniya.
English
Um,
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I had an experience, I guess in the beginning of the retreat, where
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I—something triggered it, some jealousy, or it triggered the feeling of
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just the sadness about, um, trying to become something, and just reviewing my life about things I've acquired or want to acquire, and how they didn't really make me happy.
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And that's come up in the past, in a blue—once in a bloom, and with—but I think with more wisdom I'm starting to understand what, what it means, that experience.
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And then I continued to watch it for—it was lasted about a couple days, and then I continued to watch it and, um, because I questioned why, why do I want to become. And, um, in what arose is, after that, I—I witnessed the feeling of feeling that I was so good to be able to see this.
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And, um, that arose some enjoyment, and, um, and then it felt an unwholesome enjoyment.
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And, um,
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and then I was starting to see I—I just want to feel, like, good, you know, I want to feel good. And, um, and then I questioned,
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why do I have to feel that good, and is it—is it a polarity between from being unkind to myself, or not facing reality in the moment?
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So I wanted to share that. And, um, so my question that was continued to be my question, how do I make myself suffer? So I went the extreme of feeling good like that. You went to what? So I—why do I make myself the extreme of making myself feel good?
English
Yes. You know? I'm making you feel so. Why do I want that? Yeah. Why do I want that? Right. And what—why am I causing this suffering to myself?
English
English
[Burmese segment]
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So, um, realizing I wanted to also speak about right speech and, um,
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pract- practicing this and making that a real central practice has cut down on a lot of blatant wrong speech, um, which helped ease my mind. And now it's getting into a little bit more subtleties,
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where I'm finding anything that slips out, um, that I feel is a little bit, eh, I start to feel really bad about, like, for a long time. So, um, so I was thinking perhaps my patterning is to, to feel bad about myself and to cut myself down, and this even the small, smallest things will make that pattern continue.
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Um,
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so I've talked to a few people about, teachers about, um, this, and, um, how not to perpetuate, um, this self-criticism. And I've gotten a few advice on, um, seeing it as the past already, something I've made up, and to kind of start how to let it go, you know, how to let it go, and using that as, like, it's past, it's past.
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Um, another one I felt, because I actually, um,
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when I first feel that, eh, eh, you know, I, I can learn about it, like, once I felt that out of I was had to speak in a group, and I was very fearful, so I, I wasn't able to speak really well, and I regretted it. So, or, you know, not being present, or I can learn, but then after that, it's just like, I've gotten the advice, just tell them I'm going to stop.
English
Just stop. You've learned it, just stop.
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Sayadaw U Tejaniya began his Buddhist training as a young teenager in Burma under the late Shwe Oo Min Sayadaw (1913–2002). After a career in business and life as a householder, he has become a permanent monk since 1996.…